Dear Phil Garner,

There are times that I honestly wonder what makes you tick. Be it Craig leading off, be it having faith in Orlando Pal-shouldn't have a job-o, or letting Trever Miller pitch, you just DON'T make sense most of the time. I know you like to think yourself crafty as I can oft perfectly envision the cogs running in your head as you throw you the book of convention for silly things like pulling the starter who has been dealing all night and has a low pitch count, or having faith in your boys from Detroit.

If you were crafty Craig would be waaaaaay down in the line-up, Trever Miller and Orlando Palmeiro would NOT have jobs, and you'd go up to Carlos Lee and whisper this sweet nothing in his ear, "when there are runners on base...stop swinging until further instructed." You're a professional baseball manager, you are paid handsomely to a)know your team and the game of baseball, and b)make SMART decisions accordingly. So, from here on out, if you would just do that? I think the world might just be a better place to live. If you were crafty, you'd stop playing baseball without looking at numbers, you'd stop playing baseball by letting your LOOGEY pitcher who's allowing lefties to hit off him to pitch in LOOGEY situations. Or maybe you'd give the LOOGEY you just called up a try? Ohhhh, better yet, give up on the concept of a LOOGEY, you have far more effective relievers, use them despite their handedness.

Phil, Thomas Edison once said: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results (I just paraphrased that. God, school still has me by the balls). Numbers can't play a baseball game, but they can tell you that an aged legend who can't hit anymore except to swing the bat as mightily as he can and PRAY that the ball won't break shouldn't lead off. How you might ask? Because his OBP is .270 something. It's not rocket science, it literally goes no further than judging "bigger or smaller" and I was watching my girlfriend's four year-old niece do that tonight. So just stop being so thick headed, yes, scrap iron was a term of endearment while you were playing, but it should not be the way you manage. Managing baseball requires you to use the gray matter between your ears; stop doing the same thing AGAIN and AGAIN.

Love,

Dome Dogs

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